A Merman in Pohnpei: 30: (Gay) Marriage

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

30: (Gay) Marriage

My desk buddy Selino is perhaps the chattiest person I have met on Pohnpei. Yesterday he went off on a tangent starting out of the blue with the comment “you know, my uncle died of a heat stroke in Louisianna.”

Todays topic: the recent Ireland referendum to create same sex marriage equality. This was my chance to innocently and covertly inquire about homophobia.

The result of this 1 person survey:

Gay people used to get beaten up a lot, now it’s only verbal harassment, and less of a taboo. Selino says that’s because Pohnpeians are lazy, especially because of drinking sakau (the most creative answer I’ve ever heard about the causes of improvement in discrimination). He also said there’s more gay foreigners than local people, his guestimation is 10 local gays on the island (in my experience guestimations here are extremely rough though, both for time, space, and numbers). He pleasantly surprised me by considering that some gays may be in the closet (he used the word “hiding”) and also that there are lesbians (he unsurprisingly approves of lesbian sex. He also likes the idea of becoming Amish cause you can have more than one wife, I think he got that idea from some Harrison Ford movie). He supposes that homophobia comes from the catholic influence of missionaries, but doesn’t know what it was like in traditional Pohnpeian culture before colonization. Note the subtleness I needed to exercise to inquire about these details without revealing my own thoughts / identity on the matter.

As for straight marriage in general:

Local marriage is the important one, religious marriage is done years after and doesn’t carry much actual significance (a peace corps blog source also confirms this, lol).

Surprise surprise, local marriage is sealed by the groom’s family offering the bride’s family sakau. If they accept, the marriage is official (sakau has the weight of a signed marriage certificate) and all the government paperwork follows. The ceremony is apparently not very fancy, just like a normal feast. Divorce is also possible through a sakau ceremony.

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POHNPEI TIAHK (POHNPEI CULTURE)

30 Rice: The rice shortage on the island right now (bad weather = no cargo ship) has led to many rice-conversations. Apparently rice is more important for Pohnpeians than bread is for Germans, perhaps even more important than meat. No, that has not historically been the case, and no, it does not grow here.
29 Driving: Pohnpeians drive so well! Appropriately slow (read: pot holes), always use their turn signals, yield to pedestrians, etc.
28 Rain: I have never experienced rain like this. The rain (and subsequent waterfall-like stream that formed next to our hose) was so loud last night and today, I could not hear my alarm in the morning, nor the sizzling of the pan that signals Julius-get-your-ass-out-of-bed-it’s-breakfast time. And our roof isn’t tin, it’s concrete. Still. Raindrops on banana leaves, people, it’s SO soothing.
27 Buddhism: Somehow with my host dad’s accent, this word sounds exactly like “pollution.” That was a tiny bit confusing, in addition to the fact that it turns out he actually meant Muslims, not Buddhists, but that’s another story.
26 Suicide Rate: I just learned yesterday from Tony that FSM, and Chuuk state in particular has had an astronomically high suicide rate since the 70s. To put it in perspective, Japan’s suicide rate is 20-30 per 100,000 (depending on what statistic). The country FSM is 27, Chuuk state (neighboring Pohnpei state) is 40, and Chuuk males 15-25 years old is 250 per 100,000 (and there are only about 50,000 people living in Chuuk).
25 Mortlockese Vowels: Lots of them actually sound like the German ö, ä, ü – score!
24 Pohnpeian Alphabet: Has 16 letters and four digraphs in the following order: a, e, i, o, u, oa, k, l, m, mw, n, ng, p, pw, r, s, t, d, w. H is only used to make vowels long, g is only used in combination (ng), and t is actually pronounced like the english “ch”
23 Sounds that do not exist in Pohnpeian: F, J (as in German), H, V, B, T.
22 Voice Level: almost everyone usually talks with low voices. However, exceptions include: when my host family talks to Jayheart, my host sister Tarla most of the time, and telecommunication. That means yelling to your neighbors, either straight from your porch of out of your car as you pass by. That doesn’t always work flawlessly, so often Pahpa responds with a loud “AAAAAA?” which cracks me up.
21 Mold: don’t use something for about a week, and mold will start to grow on it (bags, clothes, books). Lesson learned.
20 Arwen: Pronunciation Fun Part II – So for the longest time I thought his name was Arwen (pronounced elvish like Elrond says it), but now I’m pretty sure it’s Marwin. I proceeded to have a dream about Arwen killing the Mouth of Sauron in a never-seen-before extended scene. I wish. Eowyn was also in my dream. *sigh*
19 Moisturizer: Why did I bring it? Perhaps the most unnecessary thing in my suitcase followed by my old flip phone that only takes AT&T sim cards (I forgot about that).
18 Power Outage: happens a lot, probably ever 4-5 days or so. Our CSP wifi router has a backup battery though. Score.
17 Donuts: Pohnpeian pronunciation: donas. Often without any sugar/glazing, so it’s just a little sweet, but freshly made very delicious.
16 Sashimi: pronounced more like sesame here. I’m gathering they call everything raw sashimi. When I asked a lady at the market if these were cooking bananas or good for eating just like that, she said “yeah, you can eat these sashimi.” I love it.
15 Spam: (@ my German friends: it’s a type of processed canned meat). I saw Spam pretending to be a piece of nigiri sushi at the market yesterday. Take a rectangular chunk of rice, put Spam on it, wrap a seaweed leaf around it. Voila.
14 hairdos: especially for men, they’re extremely creative! Lots of interesting patterns shaved/buzzed on the backs of peoples heads, or long but thin braided strands of hair (pretty much exactly like a jedi padawan), also dying it blonde…
13 Taro: if seasoned well, absolutely delicious! Cleaning it off your hands however, is about as difficult as removing rye sourdough when I make bread.
12 Spitting and driving: people open their car doors mid-drive to spit bettle nut.
11 Gender: Kesdy says men rule and women make the decisions. I talked to two very influential Pohnpeian women at a workshop today and had built up enough of a relationship to gently ask some gender questions, and as expected, gender politics are much more nuanced than just patriarchy. That being said, I am clearly benefiting from male privilege here.
10 Spitting: Everyone does it, all the time. Spiting out bettle nut juice, or after taking a sip of sakau, or just because. And they’re really good/precise at it. I am not, so I’m not going to try.
09 Mosquitoes: There are a lot fewer of them then I’d expect. That being said, a Mosquito SWAT team somehow found its way into my room last night. Through the closed window? Sneaky little hobbitses, but I’ll get you my pretties, and your little dogs, too.
08 Island Time: Nobody is punctual, but everyone still manages to be on time. Example: Kesdy said he’d pick me up between 11 and 12. He picked me up at 4. Willy said we’d come at just the right time.
07 U: The municipality with the shortest name in the world. Apparently Willy’s father shortened it from Uh so it would get into the Guinness Book of World Records. Success.
06 Mirrors: Pahpa does not like mirrors, so there are no mirrors in the house (also not the office). Trimming my beard? Postponed indefinitely.
05 Driving on the Right Side: Almost all of the cars are Japanese/for the Japanese market, so the steering wheel is on the right hand side. But they drive on the right side of the road. That should be weird, but considering everything that’s different here, I barely notice it.
04 Seat Belts: Kesdy says it’s not appropriate to wear seat belts on the island.
03 Nahs: The name for the community gathering house (though more of a roof with very open walls). Mother’s Day celebration, sakau ceremony, community meetings, everything takes place in a nahs. Lots of houses have them on their property, or they’re next to stores, attached to sakau bars etc.
02 Meninrahn: the only poisonous animal on Pohnpei. Yay! It’s a very large centipede with a very nasty stinging bite O.O not lethal though, according to my co-worker Kesdy.
01 Bettlenut: Most of my coworkers chew it with lime powder (lime as in limestone) – think chewing tobacco, except it looks like an acorn and grows on a palm tree. Selimo says his dentist hates him.